I have had the privilege, and unfortunately the dismay, of witnessing people’s reactions to these trying times. There has never been such a time where emotions, and the consequences of those emotions, have been tried and tested for all of us.
Some have risen to the challenge, while others have gone down a path less fortunate. One common reason for the success of some is that they have capitalized on their Emotional Intelligence, whether they know it or not.
So, what is Emotional Intelligence?
Basically, it is the ability to identify and monitor emotions (of your own and of others). For those of you who are more scientific, let’s put it into a simple formula: Thoughts + Emotions = Behaviors/Actions.
You may be asking yourself, what does this all mean to me?
It really boils down to these four basic pillars:
1. Self-awareness: having the conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives and desires.
2. Self-management: management of oneself by taking responsibility for one’s own behavior, actions and well-being.
3. Social awareness: in-depth understanding of societal and communal set-ups, environments, problems, struggles, norms, and cultures.
4. Relationship Management: the supervision and ongoing level of engagement with others.
Steps you can take to improve each of your pillars:
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- Self-awareness – look at yourself objectively by taking an assessment (i.e. DiSC assessment, Enneagram assessment, etc.) Then ask someone to read your results and have an open discussion about your strengths and opportunities.
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- Self-management – after taking an assessment you will know your strengths and weaknesses (opportunities). Proactively take action to reinforce your strengths and modify your weaknesses. This can be something as basic as listening more before you offer your opinion.
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- Social awareness – watch body language. Over 90% of communication is non-verbal, so sitting back and observing is key. This will allow you to really understand the person or situation before you speak or act. It boils down to empathy, understanding where the other person is coming from.
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- Relationship Management – use all the tips from above and act on them to show respect and truly listen to others.
If I were to summarize emotional intelligence strategies in 5 main points, it would be these:
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- Be difficult to offend
- Admit your mistakes
- Take change in stride
- Don’t get pulled into drama!
- Be curious, not judgmental
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Chris Case is the founder of Chris Case Solutions and a consultant at ASBTDC University of Arkansas. She has spent the last 25 years consulting, facilitating, and coaching individuals and organizations with an emphasis on emotional intelligence, conflict, leadership, communication, individual improvement, and team development. Her entrepreneurial spirit and expertise are highly valued by Fortune 100 companies, non-profit organizations, and universities that continue to rely on Case for her unique perspective.
This article is part one of a three-part series about emotional intelligence, which will be linked here after publication. Read part two here and part three here.